Will Clark World

THANK GOD IT'S OVER!

SAINT AT LARGE NEW YEARS DAY PARTY CANCELLED!

Well, SAINT fans, it looks like you got a lump of coal in your stocking this year as the party with the mostest cancelled their new years day party, the first time the Saint has cancelled a party in it's 29 years of existence. What happened? It's a little murky but here's what they had to say:

"Due to issues that were perceived to threaten the integrity of the production, The Saint At Large has made the decision to preempt REVIVAL, the New Year’s Day Night party scheduled for the event space, Espace, on West 42nd Street. We humbly apologize for the late notice, but there has been considerable time invested in finding other workable options. Instead of settling on lesser spaces and compromised logistics, this will be the first canceled event in our organization’s 29 years of continuous operation."

On a more upbeat note, they are not only offering a refund but also offering that you can exchange these tickets for a Black Party ticket (Saturday March 21st at Roseland). So, if you bought a New Years Day party ticket, you're already all set for Black Party. You can email them at thesaint@saintatlarge.com if you have any questions (but, you know, save the bitchiness because these guys have been through the wringer the past few days trying to make this thing happen, it's no fun when the venue makes you go through hoops especially unneccessary ones - no insider info here but I'm reading between the lines).

On a totally upbeat note, they had this to say about the state of our community:

"As we enter the new year with all the excitement of change, a renewed sense of hope and some uncertainty as to the journey ahead, we wanted to share some good news: you are already a member of a formidable underground community. It can be said that the strength of each of us is contained in the tribe and that the tribe can be found in each of us. Let us not forget the power we have as a collective of open minds, strong bodies and healthy souls."

They've got that right! Let 2009 be the year that we work on the Tribe as a force to do great things!

SAINT AT LARGE NEW YEARS DAY PARTY INFO

If you're looking for things to do this New Years.. try joining me and a bunch of my friends at the annual New Years Day Saint at Large party at espace (W. 42nd between 10th and 11th).

It starts at 11:30pm on Thursday January 1st and goes until March or April. No, I'm of course kidding.

But it does go until Friday morning .. but hey, you have a four day weekend so it's just the beginning and I don't know about you but I need a good party to go to after all the crap we've had to endure the last year and well, the last EIGHT years.

It's time to shrug off that sadness and dance your fucking ass off and you can start by going to www.saintatlarge.com to get your tickets before they're sold out!

DRINKING THE EAST VILLAGE (4 of 4)

(concluding the adventures of me and my roommate on Friday night in the East Village)

PART 4: SECTION 8 AND THE HOSE

I remember being 25 and single in San Francisco.

It was more endless worry about where I was going in life than endless sex although there was also a lot of sex. I had my share and about four other people’s share. There was also dancing. Oh, so much going out and dancing. Dancing til all hours of the night at Fraternity or doing tea dance at the IBeam in the Haight or watching music and comedy videos at the Midnight Sun, it was a good time, that’s for sure.

So a couple weeks ago when my roommate and I hosted an afternoon party for a few friends, lovingly called, the ‘eggnogathon’, he invited a couple interns from his day job at the big company he works for in mid town.

Both interns were cute. The straight one reported to him and the gay one (we call him The Kid) was in another department but had found him. The Kid was incredibly attractive and, more importantly, full of life with a wide beautiful smile that just made you want to do nice things for him so that he could smile at you.

Oh I love my boyfriend dearly but the kid was all full of life and that smile, oh that smile! Who wouldn’t melt (or harden as the case may be)?

When the roommate and I went out on Friday night to visit on our pub crawl,  we hoped The Kid would join us. After a lot of texting (does no one simply pick up the phone and call each other any more?) he finally showed up just as we were going to the last two places on our list. We’d had a lot to drink but were maintaining ourselves. If nothing else, getting older teaches you how to pace yourself.

The first last place we ended up at was Section 8 located on Ave. A between 13th and 14th Streets. It’s a non descript place really, with a pool table and cheap drinks. It’s the kind of bar I like because it’s not filled with pretense and all that, you’re not paying for the décor.

The Kid joined us and naturally being middle aged men, we just sat and listened to the things that a 25 year old talks about – men and lack of money. It’s kind of nice to be (mostly) on the other side of all that.

I was kind of mesmerized by the Kid’s smile so I wasn’t paying that much attention to what he was actually saying although when my boyfriend’s “ghostly” face suddenly appeared over the Kid’s head with the “I don’t think so!” look, I kind of snapped back to reality.

It was getting on 2am and so we barreled out of there and on to our final stop around the corner, another new bar, this one on Avenue B also between 13th and 14th, called The Hose.

The Kid got carded of course. I looked at the bouncer and asked in a playful voice ‘you don’t need to see our ID’s do you?”, he replied with a slightly forlorn look of sympathy mixed with sneer “I’m afraid not”. Dammit! LOL

Up a steep flight of stairs, The Hose turned out to be a pretty cool after hours type bar, club, den of iniquity put together by party promoter Paul Short and his sexy hubby Michael.

It was like someone’s old apartment converted into a dance palace. They’d conveniently left the chandeliers in place so that there’s some sort of light over the dance floor but also as a kind of mocking gesture to the inebriated cruising going on.

I dragged Paul over to meet my friends but my roommate had gone to the bathroom and only the Kid was there manning the drinks.

Well, Paul, notorious for super sexy east village parties filled with hot guys and hot action, simply took one look at the Kid and said “so when are you getting up on the bar and dancing for me?”

It was then that I remembered what the Kid had been talking about at Section 8 – finding an extra source of income by maybe doing some bartending or go go dancing.

It all happened so fast that I could scarcely believe it was happening at all but the Kid immediately took his shirt and pants off and leapt up onto the bar and moved around in his underwear. It was a beautiful sight. Not in a lecherous way but in a kind of aesthetic artistic way.

My roommate came back and was chagrined about what he was seeing…  but once I pointed out how great the Kids ass looked in that really super tight underwear he was wearing and how no one seemed to have cameras, he relaxed a bit.

The Kid’s dance career didn’t last long. Oh sure, he shaked his ass and ground himself against a pole and got dollars tucked down his crotch. But after a confidence drink, he tipped over the line to inebriation and we decided that the evening was over. We dressed him and got him downstairs and into a taxi and rode off to our place. The Kid was in no shape to get home to the apartment in Jersey where all the interns lived.

And there we were. Me, the Kid and the roommate all smashed up together in the back of a taxi.

In the porn version of this there’s copious amounts of making out and cocks unfurling from our pants and some sucking off going on before we tumble upstairs to our apartment and have an all out all night fuck session with the Kid.

Alas, my roommate and I don’t find anything attractive about taking advantage of a guy, no matter how hot he is, who has had a bit too much to drink.

He cuddled with us in the cab and once home we got him to get undressed and we got him squared away on the couch. They say chivalry is dead, but I say that it’s just beating off in it’s own bedroom once the lights are off.

 

DRINKING THE EAST VILLAGE (3 of 4)

(this past Friday night, my roommate and I did a little pub crawl in the east village and here's how it turned out.. the first two parts are below)

PART 3: EASTERN BLOC

I hadn’t been to the bar Eastern Bloc in some time. My friend Darren (one of the hottest men in the city) runs the joint up on East 6th Street between Avenue A and B and since day one it’s always been a popular hangout because Darren and his co-owners are smart – they stock the staff with hot guys who like to hang with their customers (also known as flirting), the music is always rockin (but not so much that your ears bleed) and the videos on the screen are kitchy, cool, sexy, fun.

Plus, you never know what kind of pond scum you’re going to run into .. and mere minutes after we’d arrived, who showed up but Porno Bingo photographer A.B. (kidding, AB, kidding!)

What made it even more astonishing to see AB walk through the door was that AB was supposed to be in San Juan being celebrated as an American playwright as a theatre down there was producing one of his works.

So for those of you who are keeping track of this kind of thing, this is why we haven’t had any pictures at bingo the past three weeks, because AB had to go to San Juan and appear on talk shows, be interviewed on the radio and be chauffered around town for weeks. I cannot believe he would rather be treated like a king in warm weather than take pics for us in the frigid cold. It certainly is a mystery! LOL 

Anyway, we still had two more places to hit before we were done with our pub crawl list and so after sucking down another couple drinks (I think this made vodka drink number six for me) the three of us hit the sidewalk.

Once outside, I bummed a smoke from a guy who turned out to be the webmaster for a cool kicky site that I’d never even heard of,  www.eastvillageboys.com

BTW just in case you want a t shirt with a picture of your own cum shot, the East Village Boys are rarin and ready to help you make it happen.. here’s the deets:

“Want a t-shirt with your own cum shot? You and your boyfriend’s together? The whole band? The entire soccer team’s?

“Send us a pic of your cum shot, or your group shot (hot), photographed as high-res as possible, on a non-absorbent black surface (or drop by the offices and do it here) and we’ll turn it into a very personal silkscreened version. Sure you could make one yourself, but this one won’t wash out.

“Any size, on any color. We’ll even do it on your own favorite shirt if you send it to us. $80 each.

“Email editor@eastvillageboys.com if you have questions.”

Wobbling up Ave. A to the next place, AB said his goodbyes as he went to a ‘welcome home party’ (at 1 in the morning, that’s some welcome. Or was it welcum? Hmm sounds like a t shirt).

TO BE CONCLUDED

DRINKING UP THE EAST VILLAGE (2 of 4)

(recap: this past Friday night, my roommate and I bar crawled in the east village.. part 1 is below, and here's part 2)

PART 2: URGE
At Urge we got IDed which I found kinda hilarious. I don’t think for a moment the guy thought either of us were under 21 (although momentarily it was nice to think that) but I’m sure it was just to make sure that we had our I.Ds on us. A lot of places used to require all patrons to have ID on their persons at all time and while we don’t do that at Pieces (not to my knowledge any way) I guess there are still some places that do. A rubber stamp “URGE” on the back of the hand and we were in.

We found a couple spots at the bar, got 2 for 1 drinks (happy hour indeed!) and proceeded to rip into the bowl of cheese balls laid in front of us. The drinks were strong and the men in the bar largely partnered up with a friend or a lover or a lover-to-be.

It’s been a long time since I sat with a friend and played the ‘guess what others are doing’ game and it sure was fun. The aim of the game is to try to figure out what others are doing given what you can read from their body language. Sometimes it’s even helpful to make up dialogue to go with what they’re saying. It helps pass the time between drinks.

For example, those two guys, Frat Boy with the Old Navy sweatshit and Jaunty Hat Guy with a side of Skruff just met and oh now they’re making out but wait, Frat Boy is leaving but now a half hour later he’s back. What’s that story? Getting condoms, lube, drugs?

Another two guys, one an Eddie Bauer model type, a handsome soft featured brunette with a billowy white sweater and the other, a chunky man we called Dr Suez (“eat my ass Sam I am” was the start of a children’s book we figure we’ll write some day) because he wore a little beanie on his head that reminded us of the hats that folks in Whoville wear in the Grinch Who Stole Christmas; they were talking at length with Dr. Suez putting his hand on Eddie Bauer’s shoulder in a consoling kind of way. Bauer, to his credit, didn’t look sad, just in need of a little encouragement. Yes Eddie, you’re gorgeous. Sheesh.

Now admittedly I did have a thing for the cute Eddie Bauer type although my roommate wasn’t feeling it and liked instead Old Navy guy until he made out with his pal. At one point Eddie went missing and I was feeling a little abandoned by my object of admiration but whoops found him in full four color when I went downstairs to the men’s room to relieve myself of some of the vodka I’d acquired throughout the evening. Much taller than I’d anticipated (easily like 6 ft 2) he just kinda looked at me blankly.

In the porn universe Eddie Bauer guy and I would have locked the bathroom door and fucked each other right then and there. In some romantic universe, he’d smile and we’d forever tell our grand adopted kids how we met gazing at each other from across a crowded bar.

But back in the real world, we did the mutual head nod (acknowledging that we’re two gay men in a bathroom) and each went to do our own things. I felt a little unappreciated until my roommate decided that he had man boobs and that if he didn’t have the decency to throw me down on the bathroom stall floor and do me right then and there then there must be something wrong with him. I’m beginning to like my roommate. 

Anyway, this kind of thing kept us busy and off the streets for nearly an hour and a half until after we’d gotten to the end of the second drink (2 for 1 til 10pm by the way) at which time we decided to move on next door to the Cock, a notoriously sleazy east village bar that has been shut down for ‘inappropriate behavior’ so often you know it’s got to be a lot of fun.

Unfortunately they opened late and we didn’t care enough to stand around for another 45 minutes just to drink and potentially pick up something we’d need penicillin to get rid of, so, we did what inevitably happens on a bar crawl, we struck it from the list and moved on… nothing would stand in the way of our pub crawling. Nothing!

TO BE CONTINUED

DRINKING UP THE EAST VILLAGE (1 of 4)

PART 1

So last night my roommate and I went on what in some circles would be called a pub crawl. In less generous circles it might be called a bender although this was no Lost Weekend.

 

 

In any event it was all about the Friday night happy hour which of course is not an hour at any bar and is instead a multi hour orgy of boozing. Sounds fun, I’m there.

 

 

Our first stop was actually a toy store in the east village called Tokyo Toys. The place reminds me of all the one of a kind shops that used to dominate New York but now when found must be cherished and supported. Because in my opinion it’s detrimental to the identity and therefore longevity of a city that looks like every other city in the country. I mean, really, there are already sections of Manhattan that you could beam into and wonder if you’re not in Atlanta, Minneapolis or Orange County.

 

 

Anyway we spotted the toy store as we rushed down 2nd Ave dodging rain drops. We both had passed by before and never gone in and now seemed to be as good a time as any so into the narrow stairwell, up to the second floor and into a fantasia Japanese toys like I’d never seen before. I don’t know anything about this area and the store fascinated me with the seemingly endless displays of action figures, bobbleheads and plush toys. But what simultaneously creeped us out and intrigued us was a sort of back room filled with figures of American pop cultural figures (Michael Jackson, various Star Wars characters and more) but also the wide array of plastic figures from the Japanese culture -  animals, creatures, aliens and monsters, effervescently colored and patterned with an imagination that eclipsed anything I’d ever seen before. I don’t know if the creatures I saw were patterned after characters on shows or if they’re just randomly created but most of it was simply astounding. When I’ve heard people talk about Anime and how incredible it is, I guess these are the characters they’re talking about and something I couldn’t to get home to dive into.

 

Leaving that shop and heading to Urge the rain fell a little harder and so we made a dash for the next couple blocks. Neither of us had brought an umbrella and in fact neither of us had brought anything like hats or gloves either because we knew we’d be hopping around and we didn’t want to lose anything. In our rush we both forgot to maybe wear a warmer jacket. But sometimes it’s better to look good than to be warm. And with my nice black leather jacket on, if I do say so myself, I was looking pretty damn fine. 

TO BE CONTINUED

HO HO HO'S BRING TOYS FOR PORN AT BINGO TONIGHT!

Will Clark's Porno Bingo at Pieces (8 Christopher Street at 8th St & 6th Ave.)

Wednesday December 24th, 2008 8pm to 10pm 196th show

Sponsored by NEXT Magazine

 

JACKPOT PORNO BINGO!

Join MC Will Clark and guest host Amanda Takehometomother for five rounds of Bingo with cash plus win tickets to see Wings Theatre's A Pig Tale, now playing through January 3rd, as well as the Saint at Large's New Year's Party!

 

PLUS BRING A NEW UNWRAPPED CHILDREN'S TOY AND GET PORN IN EXCHANGE..!

TYGER'S HOLIDAY GREETING!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WWW.TYGERSCENT.BIZ

NIGHT ON THE TOWN, NEW YORK NEW YORK

Last night at Mimi Imfurst’s show at the Cutting Room my roommate Jim and I got to sit at the big boys table complete with promoter Daniel Nardicio and his entourage (an attractive group, but what else would I expect?) and drag mistress Gusty Winds who participated in a group “12 Days of Christmas” sing along by shouting very aggressively “Seven Swans a Swimming!” when the group that was supposed to be in charge of that verse was doing a piss poor job. Anyway, the show was pretty terrific and it shocks me that Mimi does only 2 performances of this show a year. I can imagine that it would run for a month solid if she’d take it to San Francisco.

For those of you not familiar, Mimi imagines the Virgin Mary as a lounge singer telling the ‘real story” of the birth of the baby Jesus. It’s a lot more clever and witty than you might expect a show like this to be. The subject has been dredged to death for material and you’d think there was nothing left to say. But Mimi simply tromps all over whatever line she’s not supposed to cross and just keeps going to the point where you think she can go no further. And then, oh yes, she goes there too. The show is over but you can still check out the website at http://www.virginmarylive.com

Also seen: go go boy Tass and his main squeeze these days as well as a couple of my ex-tricks, I mean boyfriends and their new bfs who clutched on to them as though I were a vortex that would suck them away. Suck them, yes. Vortex, no. Whatever!

Anyway, afterwards we tramped over to the Eagle in the frigid cold expecting it to be a ghost town but surprise, it was nicely crowded with a lot of very wonderfully able bodied gay men all itching to rub two sticks together to get warm. And I ran into more friends than I have at the Xmas parties I’ve been to. Had I had the foresight to take Monday and Tuesday off of work, I could have stayed until the wee hours of the night but after about an hour, bed called and we bid adieu.

(Mimi's show was produced by Spin Cycle for the Cutting Room. You can find out more about Spin Cycle's shows by going to their website http://www.spincyclenyc.com. Porno Bingo often gives away tickets to shows that Spin Cycle produces. In the past we've give away tickets to Joan Rivers, Dina Martina, Jackie Beat and many more)