In April 2013 I'd taken a corporate job that, I knew, in some deep dark place in my soul, would eventually lead to the end of my weekly Bingo show, The Will Clark Show featuring P*rno Bingo as well as my career as Will Clark. It seemed to me then that my life was going in another direction away from the adult video industry I'd called home since 1995. I never thought I'd be a porn industry lifer.
I thought making a couple movies was a way to make a little money and I never intended it to go beyond that. Anyway, in 2013, I started to get nostalgic for a certain time in my life when I was making movies, producing and hosting events, running with my peeps in WeHo, and traveling around the country stripping in bars for my fabulous fans. It never seemed easy or like it was making any impact on anyone at the time, but, that's how these things go, right? We simply do the work and everything else follows.
During the heyday, I had the pleasure of becoming friends with porn star turned director David Thompson. I thought David was crazy handsome, and, as he was super smart, inventive, and chatty, he was a great pal to have and share things with. I think the biggest compliment that David gave me was one day when I'd finished a shoot for him, he announced that he was racing off to his other job (a theater related role). I stopped him and said "wait... you have somewhere to be? how on Earth could you be sure that you'd get the scene you needed in the time you scheduled without going over?" (going overtime is common in any kind of filmed entertainment). He just smiled and looked at me and my costar (Tom Southern) and said "I hired professionals so that I could get to my next thing on time". And then he jumped in his car and sped away leaving Tom and I dumbfounded and pleasantly complimented.
David just assumed we knew what we were doing and trusted us to do our jobs. His movies may not have been the ones that everyone talks about, but man, I tell you, the experiences that I had with him were among my favorites.
There was another time when David and I were working together on a Michael Zen movie - some thing about guys in the future wearing makeup and capes and tights. We kind of both thought it was super strange (and not especially erotic) but we did our jobs .... and suddenly David made it fun and said he looked like Electra Woman... which I chimed in and said would make me Dyna Girl. So, there we were running around backstage being Electra Woman and Dyna Girl. Later, I had hard on problems, gee, I wonder why! lol Of course, the third person in our three way watching straight porn on a monitor behind us possibly had something to do with it too. That shoot was fucked UP, but made fun and memorable because of David.
So, as I started my journey into corporate life, I started to become nostalgic about a time, a place, people that I missed. I reached out to David through mutual friends and we exchanged a couple emails. We agreed that it was time for a reunion and, as he then lived in Puerto Vallarta, he would tell me next time he was planning on being in Los Angeles and I'd arrange a trip and we'd call all of our pals and we'd have a big dinner. That never happened. Just weeks later, I received word that David had died from a bout with cancer.
In his last email to me, he said ...
"I share things like that to let others know that you can win the battle...as you I was diagnosed in 1995 with HIV...I now have Tcells that total the number of the cast of the Sound of Music ( 12 ) lol...i live because thats all i can do...my friends, my job, my family, i live for them AND when its time to go...i know i can say i had a wonderful life and all the craziness...and meeting people like you...we are survivors..never forget that"
Five years later, these words stay with me and mean everything. That beneath that handsome exterior was truly both an Electra Woman and a Dyna Girl; a super hero of strength.
There are days when I'm feeling blue and I just want to call people up like David (and Blue Blake and Cole Tucker, and a half dozen others who have gone ahead) and reconnect to a time that is so far away and removed from my current life.
So, to you, today, here in 2018, I tell you this: whatever you're going through, whatever it is that today brings - enjoy it. Enjoy it and embrace the challenges as well as the joys. They all vanish so quickly and are gone before you know it. But, if you're smart, you can capture and savor some of the magic of what it means to be in the moment, to enjoy being alive 'RIGHT NOW".
There are days when I don't want to continue on this journey - this time in my life has been extremely hard and difficult... but I am heartened by David's words from five years ago about a friendship from 15-20 years ago - I am a survivor. And, if you're reading this, so are you.
P.S. The photo above is from a party in summer 1998 - David (second from the right) and I are playing "Get Christie Love" with Grant Wood and Jack Simmons. I have no idea what led to this pose but it certainly is one of my favorites!