I found this on the Facebook page of my friend Kevin and I couldn't resist posting it.. it's a fun parody of the "It Gets Better" campaign founded by sex advice columnist Dan Savage. I'm sure we could all relate at one point in our puberty to this situation....
Good morning, peeps! Hope your past week has been a good one.
The other day I was admiring the new Mad Men ad in the subway and, as a lot of men do, coveting the
Don Draper look. I looked at my ratty jeans and my tight t shirt and worn tennis shoes and was struck by the somewhat sad, maybe somewhat charming thought that I was a Don Draper kind of guy trapped on an Archie Andrews budget. Welcome to 21st century New York, right?
The ratty jeans btw were really ratty - a ripped hole along the inside left leg, left over from my "I'm too sexy for underwear" phase (the hole was conveniently - and naturally - away from anywhere that anything popping out would get me arrested but close enough that anyone within a few feet radius who cared to notice would think that something possibly could).
I know this is trivial and probably, for a 48 year old (this Friday March 9th), a bit ridiculous. But lately I've felt the need for a little extra added attention to this kind of stuff. With the job search dragging on and some medical stuff happening with family (not my own absent biological one, my acquired one) I've been a little down in the dumps for the past few weeks, as I've alluded to in past posts.
Let's look at this from a different angle though. A couple weekends ago, New York gym trainer Roman Ragazzi apparently took his own life. For those of you that follow porn, you'll remember that Roman was outed by the New York Post when he was working for Raging Stallion a few years ago as a former Israeli military trainer who worked at the Israeli consulate. Although I didn't ever know Roman personally or professionally, I do know that this caused a lot of problems for him. Whomever outed him really should burn in the deepest darkest pit of hell.
Why he would commit suicide, well, although I didn't know him, I can extrapolate from my own experience. Aside from Tag Ericksson's recent success landing a Bravo real estate reality show, it's not that easy for a former porn actor to land a 'second act' especially if one is unwilling or unable to slink back into obscurity.
Maybe this happened to Roman, a despondence that life will never progress - and worse, because of being outed, maybe he couldn't go back home.
For me, I am inspired by people like the legendary Jack Wrangler who had a great second act. I am encouraged by the optimism of people like Michael Brandon who have had to overcome some seriously huge obstacles but are emboldened to be a success despite all of that rather than letting their problems overwhelm them.
And I am encouraged by following my old peeps from the porn industry on Facebook, seeing the neat things that they are doing with their lives especially my old friend Cameron Mitchell who is now an enormous (and even hotter than he was 'in the old days') bodybuilder in Chicago who owns his own personal training business.. congrats Cam and Julie!
None of this realization has come easily. But you know, I think that it's actually harder to opt in than opt out and I've never been one to shy away from doing the hard work.
As if on cue, this morning a friend sent me links to these You Tube videos of Idina Menzel's recent concert in Toronto (below). The first one is of course just the right thing to hear given these thoughts and the other, well, it just plain made me laugh out loud.
Now, if you're down in the mouth and I know many of us are, I can't offer you any quick and easy solutions - I don't really have any myself - there are still hundreds/thousands of people looking for work in this city for you know like three or four available jobs, but the key to this really is just to keep on moving forward, getting out of bed in the morning and doing what you need to do to .. opt in. Stay in the game, and don't believe that it won't get better (and if you can't find that kind of positivity in your life, stay out the way of those of us who do!).
And as for being a little like Archie.. well, I can think of worse role models - I mean, he's got a lot of people who love him, never ages and currently is showing off his political side (not only are Archie comics featuring a very prominent gay character, but they are also addressing the Occupy Wall Street movement.. very progressive for any "comic book" but especially for Archie). And you know, he's a fellow redhead and I dig my fellow gingers. :)
Thanks to all of you who emailed nice wishes to me yesterday about the 7th anniversary of The Will Clark Show feat. P*rno Bingo, I really appreciated it! We had a good show last night - a great crowd, wonderful stars and raised a few hundred dollars for the Gay/Lesbian Anti Violence Project.
For me, Thursday is my Saturday - the whole week is geared towards making Wednesday night happen and generally I spend half of the day after picking up things around the apartment, buying groceries and catching up on the email that I've put off. You know, Saturday stuff. If I had yard, today would be the day I'd be raking leaves. :) Not such a bad thing in the race around world of Manhattan.
Then, Saturday night I'm emceeing the annual Fetish for Fashion event produced by Folsom East at the Center. It's a benefit for Housing Works and will feature hotties wearing leather. Honestly what else is there to say? I'm pimping this pretty hard this week because not only am I involved with the show as a host, but I'm a big fan of Housing Works and Folsom East (and well, hot guys in leather) :) That's at 8pm Saturday February 18th.(and check out the Housing Works website for a nice pic of my pal C.B. Kirby) :)
Let me close this blog entry by quoting C.S. Lewis (found on a friend's Facebook wall today): "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”
Just some thoughts to share for Thursday. The new Saturday. :)
Good morning all - today I'm at home repainting my second bedroom, making homemade soup and well, as always blogging. The music is pumped up and I'm already making tremendous progress, but wanted to stop for a moment to post this video from the Gay/Lesbian Anti Violence Project.
Although most of us have endured anti-gay slurs (although how can calling me a "cocksucker" be a slam? especially when it's yelled out a car window by a carful of drunk straight guys as they're speeding by - it's hard to take that seriously) but thankfully most of us will never know the horror of being attacked like Dave Pittock describes in the video below.
I know I know.. you read this blog for the hunk o the day or for Bingo pics and I hit you all up for causes all the time, but I hope that if you have a couple dollars that you need to burn off anyway before the end of year (you know, if you need to make one last charitible donation for tax reasons) or if you just know how important of a cause this is, that you will consider clicking here and donation to AVP today. The work that AVP does is vital to the health - both physical and mental - of our community.
If you're not able to help financially now, hopefully you'll consider passing this post on to your friends - because not only does AVP depend on your financial support, but they depend on all of us to let our entire network of LGBTQ friends know that should the need arise (God forbid) there will be help (and all of us should carry AVP's emergency hotline number in our wallets or as a saved numbe on our cell phone just in case).
Meanwhile, AVP will be joining us for Bingo on January 18th and if you're in New York City then, I hope you'll join us for a night to raise a bunch o bucks for them. :)
Thanks to one of my Facebook friends for pulling the photo of Emma Stone as Roseanne Roseanneadana off the NBC site- I wasn't able to get it (and neither could I pull embeddable code for the awesome Adele sketch that I'd like to post) ... maybe it's my browser?
Anyway, I love love love this photo and had this great idea this morning - wouldn't it be great if NBC sold the Emma Stone as Roseanne image on T shirts and gave the profits to the cancer treatment house founded in Gilda's name, Gilda's Club?
For those of you who don't know what's behind the red door down on Houston Street, it's an amazing place for all people living with cancer along with their families and friends. And it's all free of charge so of course there is always a need for financial support from whatever quarter it comes from.
As someone who has made use of their services when a friend was diagnosed with cancer a couple years ago, I can attest that what they offer is truly amazing and while a "talk it out" support system isn't for everyone, I thank God every day that it exists and while I hope none of us have to use the services they offer, it's really great that it's there for those that do.
The Will Clark Show featuring P*rno Bingo at Pieces (8 Christopher Street near 6th Ave between Greenwich and Gay Streets)
Hosted by Will Clark with Photographer: AB and DJ Chris Padilla
Sponsored by NEXT Magazine, Steel Gym, ID Lube, Eden Fantasies PLUS Fleshlights!
What's the scariest thing I can think of to happen at Halloween - the return of Amanda Takehometomother!! And return from LA tonight on the show - like one of those zombies from a George Romero pic, Amanda will delight us with a fabulous outfit, bitter barbs and lots of drunken shenanigans. Don't miss her!
Plus a special appearance by Bingo regular Kylie Edmond who'll perform and tell us all about her new non profit, Rock and Rawhide.
And because I love 'em so much, Brian and Andy from http://www.campblood.org will be on hand to show us some ghoulish yet hunky and homoish horror flicks throughout the night. They'll have a special prize bag and all sorts of surprises.
AND if you come in costume (I mean, you know more than a crappy dollar mask) you will be entered into our annual costume contest at 9:15 (you must sign in by 8:30 and there must be at least three entrants) where top prize is a Fleshjack by Fleshlight http://www.fleshlight.com
PLUS I'll have a couple tix for the new play at La Mama NOW THE CATS WITH JEWELED CLAWS starring Mink Stole and Everett Quinton! Details/tix on the show by clicking here. ANNNND I'll also have tix for Coco Peru's new show at the Laurie Beechman! (click here to get tix for the November 3-6 run!)
There'll be cheap booze and even cheaper men (as usual) and of course lots and lots of Bingo.
All the proceeds from the night will go to our newest beneficiary, Our Collective Mental Health (see below).
As usual, we start right on time at 8pm and we're still at Pieces still located at 8 Christopher Street in New York City!
ABOUT OUR COLLECTIVE MENTAL HEALTH
Our Collective Mental Health (OCMHC, Inc) is a new not-for-profit agency in New York and Vermont. Our aim is to provide affordable mental wellness services (psychotherapy, counseling, yoga, massage, life coaching, music therapy, couples therapy, sex therapy) to members of the community who might not have access to these services.
Access might mean lack of insurance coverage or lack of funds. Access might mean finding culturally sensitive therapists trained in working with underrepresented populations (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, polyamorous, kink community, immigrant, older adults/elderly, incarcerated, rural, etc). Access might mean fear of therapy or expectations of what mental health and wellness is all about.
OCMH, Inc is out to buck the system. We want to tailor our work for each client who walks in the door, no matter who they are. We want to provide modern, effective help for people in emotional pain. We want to help you master the idea best expressed in a Buddhist proverb: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
FIND OUT MORE BY GOING TO:
http://www.ourcollectivementalhealth.org
http://www.mytherapist.info/affordabletherapistnyc
http://www.facebook.com/ourcollective.com
ABOUT CAMP BLOOD
Brian Juergens is an entertainment writer, filmmaker, film critic, and creator of campblood.org http://campblood.org, the first and most comprehensive website devoted to celebrating and studying horror movies from a gay perspective.
Andy Swist is an illustrator and graphic designer and creator of the popular True Blood paper doll series http://andyswist.com/TrueBlood. Together they produce and star in Blood Work!, a popular True Blood recap vlog.
About KYLIE EDMOND
Three of Kylie Edmond's ex-boyfriends wound up being gay. One is gay, one is bi, and one is a drag queen in Sydney doing Marilyn Monroe impressions. With this amazing track record, Kylie moved from sunny Perth, Western Australia to her now home and muse, NYC.
Surprisingly though, Kylie hasn't written a song (at the time of this bio being printed) about her gay ex-boyfriends...but intends to do so in the very near future.
So, Kylie moved to the big apple to hustle her music and had a few cultural differences to deal with like using the words “flip flop” instead of “thong”, people thinking she's from Sweden or Texas, and trying to give it a red hot go in one of the coolest, but toughest markets in the world.
Kylie was signed to music publishing company Missing Link Music in January 2009 and is always in the studio recording new songs. She recently performed for the SESAC Writers on the Storm showcase for up and coming talent and was featured as a Spotlight Member with the Songwriters Guild of America. Kylie has played in famous NYC venues such as Rockwood Music Hall, Baggot Inn, The Bitter End, Caffe Vivaldi, The Sidewalk Cafe, Banjo Jim's, Don't Tell Mama, Parkside Lounge and Waltz-Astoria.
At the end of the day, you can take a girl from Australia, but you can’t take Australia out of the girl. And you can give an Aussie a flip flop, but it's still a thong.
ABOUT ROCK & RAWHIDE
According to the Humane Society 6-8 million dogs and cats are placed in shelters in the USA each year. Of this amount 3-4 MILLION are euthanized. The animals at these shelters suffer extreme stress from the deafening noise levels, environmental conditions & many other factors in the shelter.
Rock & Rawhide is a program developed to collect donations of toys, rawhides, bully sticks, treats, blankets and other items for dogs and cats placed at Animal Control and other high kill shelters (many shelters do not give the animals these items as they are cash strapped and money could be spent elsewhere). Many organizations raise funds for shelters but we want to ensure the animals directly benefit. Through the USA-wide collection of items at local music gigs, touring bands, DJ events, direct from individuals and more, we will also work to raise awareness of adoption and the importance of quality of life for shelter animals.....even if they only have a few days left...
If anyone wishes to donate items, Kylie Edmond will come and collect them from you, your work place, your friend's place, or anywhere you/they like. Or you can drop off to Kylie at a variety of locations in Manhattan (Hell's Kitchen, MidTown, UES,). Also, Kylie will be at various music gigs over the next few months collecting there too, so if you want to hear great musicians play and feel warm & fuzzy from donating...come along!
About THE WILL CLARK SHOW
Will Clark produces and hosts a weekly fundraising event benefiting New York based non profits with four rounds of Bingo, celebrity guest callers and fabulous prizes! Part game show, part talk show and all fundraiser!
Now in it¹s seventh year, The Will Clark Show featuring P*rno Bingo has raised over $170,000 for New York LGBT charities.
The Will Clark Show is held at Pieces which can be reached via the 1 train (Christopher Street) and the ABCDEF lines (West 4th).
Dubbed the “raunchiest cruise in New York”, Will Clark’s Bad Boys on the Hudson celebrated it’s 8th Annual Sea Tea fundraiser on Sunday July 10th with 8 sizzling hot gay porn stars including the multi award winning MICHAEL BRANDON along with MIKE DREYDEN, LANCE NAVARRO, SCOTT SPEARS, CLAY TOWERS, CHAD BROCK, LENAIR XAVIER and the one and only, the legendary, SPIKE.
DJ JONNY MACK spun all night long to a sold out crowd of hot n horny New Yorkers that included Torez, Rollerena, photographer JJ Mack, Jeff from Wilson Models and many many more!
In all, we raised nearly $6,500 for Braking the Cycle which annually sponsors a fundraising bike ride from Boston to New York raising hundreds of thousands of dollars for the HIV/AIDS services at New York's LGBT Center.
A special thanks to 2011 Mr. Eagle, CB Kirby, who brought his amazing BTC team to sell raffle tickets throughout the evening.
Cameras were welcome, inhibitions were not! You can check out all 69 photos in the exclusive Bad Boys gallery by clicking HERE. (hmmm 69?)
A BIG SHOUT OUT to the "Bad Boys" team - AB (who took all the photos in the gallery) and Barbara (who offered extensive hand holding and much much more!) :)
The 9th Annual Bad Boys party is already being planned for mid July 2012... tickets will go on sale after the new year on the Sea Tea site... stick close to this blog to find out when (although figure on early to mid July). We WILL sell out again and you don't want to miss out!
While I was in the throes of moving and the Pieces drama was happening, singer Amy Winehouse passed away. It was the weekend that the same sex marriage law was going into effect here in New York and I was in Hudson attending the first same sex wedding. It was hot, I was sweaty and was celebrating this historic event and so, I have to admit, not being much of an Amy Winehouse fan but knowing her history (who didn't?) I didn't think 'wow that was a shock', I was more like "well, that's just sad and tragic".I shrugged and shook my head.
Over the years I've had many friends who have battled one kind of addiction or another. Being in nightlife and associated with the porn industry, well, you don't have to have a great pitching arm to throw a stone very far to find someone whose demons have taken over their lives. There were many cases, back when I lived in LA from 1998 - 2003, when I was never sure if I was talking to The Person or Their Addiction. I have to admit unless someone is totally whacked out, I find myself unable to tell if they're altered. I'm sure that there were many times when I was hosting "Cocktails with the Stars" that I was speaking to The Altered but as long as it didn't make a particular star any more incoherant than sometimes they could be, I guess it didn't really faze me.
There was one time, though, when a big bodybuilder star at the time, who was also a friend of mine, and someone that had just the sweetest heart, went missing about 20 minutes into the show and several of us canvassed Micky's looking for him. Since he lived a few blocks away, I had someone run to his apartment and knock on his door to see if he had gone home for some reason (this was in about 2000 or 2001 and cells just weren't that common).
It wasn't until a little later when I went into the men's room that I found him slumped on the floor of the stall, vomit cascading down his burly chest. He looked up at me, half coherant with the saddest eyes I'd ever seen anyone have. The usual light that was there - playful, friendly, sexy - was gone.
Up until now I had thought that this guy was one of the juciest stars I knew.. but nothing is a bigger turn off than someone taking a vomit nap in a bathroom stall. Since he was a huge motherfucker I had to get a couple guys to help me take him up the back staircase sight unseen from everyone. Protecting him from the public embarassment of his fans knowing what had happened was the least I could do. We laid him out on a dingy couch and got a rag to wipe him up .. and a bucket in case there was any more coming.
Momma was there that night and if you know West Hollywoods most beloved drag queen, you know that she can be kind but also to the point and she taught me a valuable lesson. I had been very angry at him for popping an ecstacy (during an interview, what was wrong with him I thought!) but also very sad. Momma wouldn't have any of it and ordered him, or as she called him "my little drug addict", and gave him a couple slaps in the face. Surprisingly the 'tough love' act brought him around but he would still be baked out of his mind for hours.
I went back downstairs and finished the show telling everyone that he was "not feeling well" and had gone home and would be rebooked in the future. I'm not sure if I ever rebooked him to be honest. It's hard to know just how far to enable someone. I was shocked though, the next day when, instead of calling me to thank me for helping him, he called to ask how he would be getting paid. I told him that he wouldn't be given what had happened. I was floored though, just by how much in denial he was about his problem.
I bring this up because addiction runs rampant in our community and sure, we probably all have cutesy, funny, stories like this to share... but the underlying situation is quite grim and very tragic. When we love ourselves, when we face our addictions, when we get help, it's when we heal. I could probably fill a daily blog for weeks on stories of this or that star or friend that battled addiction. I used to think that I could make a difference in their lives ... but the truth is that they themselves are the only ones who can affect the change.
Here's is what Russell Brand had to say about Winehouse's passing and it's totally on the money (as quoted in the August 5th issue of Entertainment Weekly):
"When you love someone who suffers from the disease of addiction you await the phone call. there will be a phone call. The sincere hope is that the call will be from the addict themselves, thelling you that they've had enough, that they're ready to stop, ready to try somethig new. Of course though, you fear the other call, the sad nocturnal chime from a friend or relative telling you it's too late, she's gone.. We have lost a beautiful and talented woman to this disease."
If you are someone who has a loved one who is going through addiction and don't know how to handle it, I strongly suggest you Google search for an Al Anon or a Nar Anon meeting in your area. You can also go to any AA or CMA meeting as long as it's designated as "open". The meetings are brutal and you have to be brave. But it is a challenge that we all unfortunately have to face at one point or another, one day at a time.
And now, a little tune from Amy because only she can sing it like this. Good night Amy. Rest well.
Good morning peeps - last night's Bingo was a blast and if you missed it, aw well, at least you'll see pics when I catch up on processing and posting (only six Bingos behind at this point... ack!).
We raised $1000 for Braking the Cycle and next week's rider's funds will be matched by the company she works for.. more on this in upcoming days.
Meanwhile there are tons of things to do tonight Thursday June 23rd, in New York, here are a few of the highlights -
The evening kicks off at La Pomme (37 W. 26th) with the AIDS Service Center's annual "Safer Sex in the City" event which will feature a special appearance by Manila Luzon from RuPaul's Drag Race and Vivid Girl Savanna Samson with DJ Vic Latino. Additional appearances by Nick Flynn and Lili Taylor. Tickets are $100 and it goes to a great cause. Click here on the Safer Sex in the City website. Starts at 6:30pm and runs til 10pm
Over at KGB Bar (85 E. 4th Street), playwright Kathleen Warnock hosts a special Pride version - "Glitter and Be Gay!" - of her monthly "Drunken! Careening! Writers!" featuring talented writers reading their own work. That starts at 7:00 and runs til 10pm and features the always awesome Bob Smith plus writers Isa Coffey, Joel Derfner and Jenifer levin and special appearance by comic/writer Eddie Sarfaty. It's FREE and the drink prices are super reasonable!
Back in the West Village, the work of photographer Rob Ordonez headlines an event promoting the aesthetics of hedonism-- "Forbidden Pleasures" takes place in room 401 at The Center (208 W. 13th Street) -a special one night exhibition of erotic photos. $5 donation at the door goes to benefit the Men's Sexual Health Project. Get more info at Hard Drive Men, a risk reduction sex party. That's from 6pm to 10pm and there are cocktails....a free one with admission to boot!
Starting at 7:30 at the Grammercy Theatre (127 E. 23rd) Dan "It Gets Better" Savage is featured along with the band BETTY in an all star romp celebrating everything gay. Hosted by the adorable Alec Mapa with special appearances by Andrea McArdle (because, you know, the sun WILL come out, tomorrow, it sure ain't out today), Nellie McKay, Frank DeCaro and Mimi Imfurst. Tickets range from $20 - $100 and proceeds from the event go to GLSEN.
Starting at 11pm things start getting strange er, strangER as drunk and crazy Lavinia Draper hosts "Get Your JOAN On" celebrating all things Joan Crawford. You're encouraged to dress like Joan or put together your best bit from MOMMY DEAREST - or just slug back a drink like her! That's at Therapy starting at 11pm til Midnight.
Hedda Lettuce makes a special appearance celebrating her 10 years (10!) hosting the classic movie series at Clearview .. and as usual, there'll be hotties stripping off their street clothes in order to win free cocktails. No cover but you may have to take out a loan to afford a couple rounds of drinks!
Back down in the E. Village, Nowhere's (322 E. 14th Street) popular celebration of redheads,"Fire in the Hole" marks it's one year anniversary starting at 10pm. Yes it used to be on Wednesdays but it got so popular that they've moved it to Thursday. Lucky, cuz one of these days I can go (uhmmm when I'm a redhead again LOL). There'll be a Best Red Bush contest for a $50 bar tab (which at Nowhere means you can drink free for DAYS).
I'm sure there's more going on but that's a pretty good smattering - don't get stuck sitting around at home in your room.. because you know, life's a cabaret and all that...!
On Wednesday April 27th, "As The World Turns" star Colleen Zenk joined us for another great night sponsored by our friends Roger and Damon over at We Love Soaps .
From her days as bad girl Barbara to her struggle with oral cancer to a triumphant return to the stage in an upcoming cabaret show (details coming soon!), we got to spend a very special evening with one of the legends of the world of daytime drama.
The night benefited the New Jersey based group, NJ Buddies, an HIV/AIDS support organization.
Mr. New Jersey Leather Robert Vitale spoke passionately about the need for the organizaiton to keep the vitally important nutritional supplement Ensure on hand - and how it's incredibly expensive.
And then, Zenk stunned the entire room when she revealed that she knew very well what Ensure was, as she had been on it during her illness. And that it had saved her life.
The night raised $1000 which did indeed go to buy these very supplies. If you're able to help NJ Buddies buy more Ensure (and other nutritional supplements) don't be shy about clicking here and going to the Buddies site and making a donation.
A testament to the strength and will of one person who has been to hell and back Ms. Zenk inspired us all that night to keep on going no matter what... and with a beautiful smile to boot!
The leather and soap worlds met when Robert presented Colleen with a "leather community starter kit" which included lots of awesome items including a medal that read: "Ms. Leather Soap".
You can see the free gallery by clicking here. And check out bios and our sponsors for the night by clicking here. (Photos by AB)
