Will Clark World

Five Years Later - Thinking of Adult Video Actor/Director David Thompson

In April 2013 I'd taken a corporate job that, I knew, in some deep dark place in my soul, would eventually lead to the end of my weekly Bingo show, The Will Clark Show featuring P*rno Bingo as well as my career as Will Clark. It seemed to me then that my life was going in another direction away from the adult video industry I'd called home since 1995. I never thought I'd be a porn industry lifer.

I thought making a couple movies was a way to make a little money and I never intended it to go beyond that. Anyway, in 2013, I started to get nostalgic for a certain time in my life when I was making movies, producing and hosting events, running with my peeps in WeHo, and traveling around the country stripping in bars for my fabulous fans. It never seemed easy or like it was making any impact on anyone at the time, but, that's how these things go, right?  We simply do the work and everything else follows. 

During the heyday, I had the pleasure of becoming friends with porn star turned director David Thompson. I thought David was crazy handsome, and, as he was super smart, inventive, and chatty, he was a great pal to have and share things with. I think the biggest compliment that David gave me was one day when I'd finished a shoot for him, he announced that he was racing off to his other job (a theater related role). I stopped him and said "wait... you have somewhere to be? how on Earth could you be sure that you'd get the scene you needed in the time you scheduled without going over?" (going overtime is common in any kind of filmed entertainment). He just smiled and looked at me and my costar (Tom Southern) and said "I hired professionals so that I could get to my next thing on time". And then he jumped in his car and sped away leaving Tom and I dumbfounded and pleasantly complimented. 

David just assumed we knew what we were doing and trusted us to do our jobs. His movies may not have been the ones that everyone talks about, but man, I tell you, the experiences that I had with him were among my favorites. 

There was another time when David and I were working together on a Michael Zen movie - some thing about guys in the future wearing makeup and capes and tights. We kind of both thought it was super strange (and not especially erotic) but we did our jobs .... and suddenly David made it fun and said he looked like Electra Woman... which I chimed in and said would make me Dyna Girl. So, there we were running around backstage being Electra Woman and Dyna Girl. Later, I had hard on problems, gee, I wonder why! lol Of course, the third person in our three way watching straight porn on a monitor behind us possibly had something to do with it too. That shoot was fucked UP, but made fun and memorable because of David. 

So, as I started my journey into corporate life, I started to become nostalgic about a time, a place, people that I missed. I reached out to David through mutual friends and we exchanged a couple emails. We agreed that it was time for a reunion and, as he then lived in Puerto Vallarta, he would tell me next time he was planning on being in Los Angeles and I'd arrange a trip and we'd call all of our pals and we'd have a big dinner. That never happened. Just weeks later, I received word that David had died from a bout with cancer. 

In his last email to me, he said ... 

"I share things like that to let others know that you can win the battle...as you I was diagnosed in 1995 with HIV...I now have Tcells that total the number of the cast of the Sound of Music ( 12 ) lol...i live because thats all i can do...my friends, my job, my family,   i live for them AND when its time to go...i know i can say i had a wonderful life and all the craziness...and meeting people like you...we are survivors..never forget that"

Five years later, these words stay with me and mean everything. That beneath that handsome exterior was truly both an Electra Woman and a Dyna Girl; a super hero of strength.

There are days when I'm feeling blue and I just want to call people up like David (and Blue Blake and Cole Tucker, and a half dozen others who have gone ahead) and reconnect to a time that is so far away and removed from my current life. 

So, to you, today, here in 2018, I tell you this: whatever you're going through, whatever it is that today brings - enjoy it. Enjoy it and embrace the challenges as well as the joys. They all vanish so quickly and are gone before you know it. But, if you're smart, you can capture and savor some of the magic of what it means to be in the moment, to enjoy being alive 'RIGHT NOW".

There are days when I don't want to continue on this journey - this time in my life has been extremely hard and difficult... but I am heartened by David's words from five years ago about a friendship from 15-20 years ago - I am a survivor. And, if you're reading this, so are you.

Peace.  

P.S. The photo above is from a party in summer 1998 - David (second from the right) and I are playing "Get Christie Love" with Grant Wood and Jack Simmons. I have no idea what led to this pose but it certainly is one of my favorites! 

 

Calling Off My Engagement with Politics. Sort of.

Happy July - I hope this blog post finds you in good spirits on this, the first of July. For much of the U.S., it's a heatwave and so for those of you who are, like me, sensitive to the heat/humidity combo, make sure you keep hydrated, and if you don't have AC, be sure to keep your place as dark as possible and/or find places to camp out - like at the movies, the library, etc. And, of course, if you live near someone who is elderly, make sure you check in on them even if it's just to let them know you're paying attention to their presence. The worst thing about being old and living alone is the feeling of isolation and terror that something could happen to you and no one would know. 

As I've stated in previous posts, I'm kinda sorta breaking up with Facebook or at least doing a Ross and Rachel "on a break". I need to stay informed of all the awful things that people are doing, of course, but perhaps entering into the SHOUTING arena isn't the best place for my own mental (or physical) health. And, with that, I'm lessening my engagement with politics. Thinking about/acting on the problems of the day for a short time is fine.... masterbating (and yes I purposely did not spell that correctly for obvious reasons) over the issues and the Orange Menace every day for hours as some do, is not healthy. The dopamine released by the attention that others get is addictive and, I think, some have traded their crystal meth addiction for posting angry screeds all day every day addiction. I, for one, can't take it anymore. If you're all like "oh you're crazy, I don't have an addiction to Bloaty McCheetoface", then I challenge you to go 24 hours without posting about it. I dare you. I have posed this before and people respond with: 'but we HAVE to" and my response is "nope, you don't. You aren't the Washington Post or CNN and you're only using it to get people to pay attention to you". Well, you can imagine how well that went over. LOL Anyway, I can get all my news, take appropriate action and move on with my day. Can you? 

Now, before I move on to other things - like hot guys, stories from my life, and making fun of the stupidity in the world - here's a little meme I found on my FB/on this day thing. For Facebook's many faults, one of the biggest pluses for me is the archival aspect to it. Although, it used to post my old blog posts that I would then re-blog but doesn't anymore. GRRR! 

Have a wonderful Sunday and commit to taking some time away from the internet in whatever form that takes you (tablet, laptop, phone, etc). And, of course, leave a (moderated) comment below. :) 

I'm Begging You, Please Leave Comments

OK people, I rarely beg, but really, please leave comments. Don't make me get on my knees. Wait. Stop that. You know what I mean. 

Tell me truly, what is it you're most obsessed with right now? Extra points if you don't post anything about the Orange Menace. :) 

Me? I google "rugby shorts fail" when I need a little.... uhm. Lift. Here's a shot that I think is Facebook friendly. But, really, 'rugby shorts fail'. You're welcome. 

Lookiehere - A Blog Post! #strange #wonderful #archaic #rare #bigfoot

So one of my two best friends have decided to leave social media because of all the rancor about.. well, everything. I can't say that I blame them. I log on to Facebook and it's like perpetually being in the same room as arguing parents. Mostly, I just want to cover my ears and stomp out of the room and slam my bedroom door, followed by a good listen to heavy metal music and gentle rocking back and forth in the corner. However, I am willing to admit that this scene may have been influenced by some Lifetime Original Movie or an After School Special I saw once. 

Anyway. 

Welcome to Will Clark World. I hope to post more here and less on the Facebook and the Twitter. It's a little quieter here and I will promise to occasionally post pictures of hot guys without fear of the Facebook's 'community standards' (which seem to be flexible - half naked guys = not OK. exclusionary racist groups = AOK). I've kind of gotten tired of it all. Haven't you? 

I still like the Facebook for the social interaction with people I used to see all the time when I ran in different circles. Lately, though, I'm experiencing "people fatigue" especially when it comes to "All Cheeto All The Time". Good grief. It's one thing to be informed, it's another thing to be inundated by the screaming and all of that. 

Since I'm not doing movies and I'm not producing shows, whatever will I talk about here? Who the fuck knows. Except that I know that I can use "fuck" in a sentence and not worry if someone will report me. I do promise not to post nudies because I know that gets firewalled whether you're at work or not (and really, if you're at work, why are you reading blogs anyway? But I digress). 

Someone will have to tell me if this blog is mobile phone friendly because I am too lazy to check it out myself. 

Finally, before I sleep tonight, please note that COMMENTS are open. They are moderated by me so if you start going crazy and saying inane things, I will delete your comment. But honestly, you'd have to be a serious nut job for me to do that. Please don't be a nut job. I'm a friendly guy. My friends are friendly. Friendly is good. 

Welcome to Will Clark World, I will be posting as often as I can. And, probably will link to the Facebook. Because - irony. 

Side note - the photo on this blog page is from a recent visit to Therapy on 52nd Street here in NYC. They had this poster of some hot chesty guy on a horse. I was going to try to explain the 'Westworld" connection but then i realized that I don't really care and am just happy to see hot half naked guys on the wall of any gay bar. It seems that there was this big chunk of time when gay bars tried to pretend that people didn't go there to hook up. Spoiler: they do. 

Enjoy and see you back here soon. 

 

Use "Ho-baggy" In a Sentence

Good evening, peeps. It's Sunday evening and the boyfriend is off having dinner with a friend of his. I'm home enjoying some alone time, which isn't to say that i don't love and adore my boyfriend, but every so often, I need to a little time to be wild. These days 'being wild' means sitting in the living room in my underwear, listening to music, and letting my mind wander into odd places. 

So, as I was scrolling through Facebook rather than being out and about like I ought to be in what was a beautiful, although cool day, I noticed someone calling someone else a 'ho bag'. It's not uncommon to see this on Facebook, especially this weekend when the biggest ho-baggy event of the year is taking place, if not in my backyard, at least somewhat adjacent to it in Brooklyn (yes, Black Party, I'm talking about you). 

I kind of like the term and it always makes me giggle when I hear it. It's kind of a ridiculous insult bordering on sort of a kind of a compliment to a sort of type of person for whom being a 'ho' is something esoteric and distant rather than, let's say, someone who is an actual sex worker. There's something vaguely demeaning about it but it really means nothing so it can, therefore, mean anything that you want it to mean. And thus, a perfect insult that's also humorous. 

When writing this blog in Typepad, there is a little feature that comes up that suggests articles to link to based on words one has used. Hilariously, a photo from an article about Mark Zuckerberg has come up, ostensibly because I wrote "Facebook" above, but I like to think that the internet gods are giving me a little suggestion. However, I think the internet gods are confusing "ho-baggy" with "douche-baggy". (with apologies to Mark, please don't delete my Facebook account). :) 

Being in a committed relationship, out of the sex worker life, and way too busy doing other things than to hang out in gay bars and clubs and the places where ho bags hangout (I think, at least that's where they hang out, I think I have, unfortunately lost my ho bag card. But, just this past week, I was crushing on a super hot guy in the office I'm working at this spring. It's been a long time since I worked and a longer time since I worked somewhere with a hot guy that I could secretly crush on without him having any idea. I suppose, at 54, I am, less of a ho bag for this than a middle aged (cough cough) creeper. He's probably in his 30s by the way, so I'm not robbing the cradle. 

I think ho bags come in every shape, size, age, and orientation but I'm wondering, what's YOUR definition and, can you use the term in a sentence? 

It's Saturday O'Clock #blackparty #newyork #gaynightlife #amyschumer #ifeelpretty #stormydaniels

Good morning, peeps! Hope that no matter where you are, you're having a great start to your weekend. And if you're not, there's still time to set it right. I recommend that, if the day isn't starting out like you planned, go back to bed for 20 minutes and re-set yourself. Trust me, this works. :) 

Anyway, here in New York it's a gorgeous, semi warmish day. I'm generally not one to complain about cold weather because, frankly, I love the cold. The heat, especially, the oppressive humidity, makes me kind of sick. I know some guys are into "sweat" but I'm not really one of them especially when I'm sweating like a big pig and I'm working in an office. But I digress. 

It's Black Party weekend and I'm totally out of that scene after having been involved (many times intimately) with the annual event. I loved it and angsted about it for years - was I in shape enough to get laid and/or at least be presentable to the crowd at large? But, the thing that one learns as one gets older is that no one actually gives a crap about your tits or your abs... if you have confidence and think/know you're hot as shit, that's when one gets laid. If you want a perfect illustration of this principle, check out Amy Schumer's new flick I FEEL PRETTY. I saw it at a screening earlier in the week and it was an eye opener for me since I've struggled with the self esteem monster all my life. 

So, if you're heading out to one party or another here in NYC or wherever, just fucking believe in yourself and go out and have a good time. Easier for me to say than for you to do, I know, I know, I absolutely know, but practice makes perfect. Give it a shot, what do you have to lose? 

My exciting weekend involves working on some art and doing a deep dive into the piles of papers that dominate our kitchen table. I'm pretty sure that everyone has 'that pile' that they want to get to and I am no different. The bad things about those piles is that there are always bill lurking in there, the good news is that there are also always fun things lurking in there too. I found the above napkin in that pile already and thought that many of you could relate. :) 

Before I sign off, I can't think of a better place to make the statement that I am amused by the headlines today: "Stormy Daniels Gets Probed" .... although later iterations of these articles now replace "Probe" with "Federal Investigation". I really have to remember to do screen shots, because aside from the whole thing about Bloaty McCheetoface potentially being taken down by a porn star (yay, porn stars!), it's all comedy gold. :) 

Have a wonderful day, all, stay healthy and more sooner or later. 

Thoughts About Joe On A Sunday Morning in March 2018

On March 22nd, it'll be two years since my friend Joe lost his multi-year battle with cancer and a host of other maladies.

What was most striking about him is that as far as I experienced him, he never complained about the four years he spent bouncing back and forth between a couple of Brooklyn nursing homes and the hospital. He always spoke of "when" he got out, not "if". He was always looking at what the future would hold, where he would live, and what trips he'd be taking. I wanted to believe him, of course, but it didn't dawn on me for some time that he was almost certainly never going to live on his own again.

He had been a occasional visitor to Bingo and, through friends, had requested that I come to visit. I was terrified. I hated hospitals and nursing homes and didn't really know him all that well - but I agreed.

We had such a great time that first day that I ended up visiting him quite regularly throughout 2013 and 2014 but only could call him in 2015 as my work life had gone off the rails and the stress had made me continuously sick. Once that job was gone, I recovered quickly, but it would turn out that I only had three months to "catch up" in person before he left.

I've said it before, I'm sure I'll say it again -  had I continued to work in that job, I would have missed those final times with him. And I surely would not have been able to pick up and rush to Brooklyn when his caregiver called to tell me that he was about to die. 

When I first went to visit him in 2013, walking into the nursing home felt like Dorothy walking down the long hall to see the Wizard - I was terrified, I hated hospitals and nursing homes. These are the places where people go to die. This is the kind of place where my grandfather spent his last years - alone and stricken with a crippling disease unable to remember anyone especially his son (my dad). This is the kind of place where, five years later, my dad spent a few months in before dying of cancer. These places smell of disinfectant and misery. 

On that final day, on March 22, 2016, as I approached the nursing home, the song that randomly came up on my ishuffle, was "Allelujah" in Italian by a recording artist friend of mine. I found myself with purpose - to overcome my own petty fear and be there for Joe and for Keith. I marched in without hesitation and got on the elevator and walked into his room knowing full well what I was going to see: Joe had died just minutes before and before me lay his lifeless body, gnarled and boney. It was literally the very thing that I was most afraid of and yet... I was there, I had made it. I had made it, for my friends. 

 

I helped Keith pack up Joe's things and then we sat around and talked a bit. There were a couple of Joe's other friends already there and, after a little visit, they needed to leave.  When Keith walked them out, I stayed behind to spend a moment with Joe alone.

In that moment, that incredible moment, my terror of death was gone, or at least, muted. It was replaced by an intense love for this guy that had struggled so valiantly for so long. 

I felt an odd gratefulness that he was out of his suffering and the combination of circumstances (my job loss) that allowed me to be free to be there in the first place. Had I let my fear override my decision to visit on that first day in 2013, I would not have had the pleasure of becoming close friends with this delightful, quirky, amazing person. I would not have fallen in 'friend' with him. And, weeks later, I would not have had the honor of speaking at his memorial at Keith's house. 

So, I guess the lessons are:
1. say yes to everyone/everything.
2. be open to unexpected friendships.
3. find the silver linings when things go awry.
and oh, 4. never ever let your fear stop you from being there for someone. (Trust me on this one, I know from experience.) 

Will Clark's Bad Boys Pool Party Celebrates 20th Anniversary September 2018

It's hard for me to believe that this September 2018, it will have been 20 years since I created and produced the first Bad Boys Pool Party at a private estate in Los Angeles to benefit Aid for AIDS. There would be 4 more in LA and 5 in Palm Springs until I had the good sense to close the party down. It was still fabulous but as I had moved back to New York after many years living in Los Angeles, it became harder and harder to do the party from afar. Plus, I am of the mind that you leave a party before people are sick of you. Same for ongoing events. 

Anyway, in addition to raising hundreds of thousands of dollars for Aid for AIDS, we also benefited L.A. Shanti as well as a few other California based charities that I eventually got to come and play with us in a four day destination weekend. And, as a little trivia note, had I done another party in Palm Springs in 2006, there would have been an addition of a 5th day - the Monday after Mini Golf Game. Michael Brandon and I and a few friends went to play after the weekend was over and it was literally the perfect way to end a crazy fabulous time. 

Bad Boys Pool Party (never ever "Bad Boys of Porn Pool Party" - how I hated it when people would call it that!) was a response to a little thing a WeHo columnist had written about a birthday fundraising party I'd thrown for myself and a couple of my porn buddies to benefit Aid for AIDS. He thought the party had been fun but "not sexy enough".  And, yes, while I knew I was being baited, I found a thrill in accepting the challenge: How do you find the fine line in having a sexy party with porn stars and yet not make it a sex party which would compromise the non-profit status of the org benefiting from it?

Over the years, I think we found that good balance although it was always an aspect of the party that I had to manage very closely. Most times it was easy, but once or twice I had to put on my big boy pants and get after someone who wasn't playing within the (very broad) rules of behavior. I have never been apologetic for wanting to protect the mission of the benefiting organization. Real actual people benefitted from the work we all did and to lose that funding would be catastrophic for them.

Anyway, I'd been tossing around some ideas when my pal and writer Mickey Skee told me about his Bad Boys on Video book that was coming out. It featured interviews of 20 or so porn stars (including yours truly) and it hit me that the 'hook' was featuring the guys at the party that were featured in the book! There were two other books that came out and there was even one Bad Boys party where fans could sit in on the interview and ask questions to the stars. 

There are days when I miss the party, but the industry and Palm Springs, and even non-profits are all so different now.... I'm not sure it's even possible to do this kind of party anymore. And, frankly, in this political climate, can you imagine the kind of comments the party would get on social media? (although, again, I sort of get a little thrill at the fun of making conservative's heads explode with a sex positive fundraising event with drag queens, flaggers, porn stars, a bouncey house, the Sisters!, etc). lol :)

But yes, I have thought about doing a '20 year' anniversary party on several occasions lately.... although perhaps it would be like rebooting an old TV show .. maybe best left not to be touched! 

What are YOUR thoughts? Comment here! Thanks! 

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 26TH AT THE SLIPPER ROOM: SINGER TODD ALSUP

Hey there, peeps, hope you had a great weekend! Yesterday, Saturday, I married two guys at a big fancy hotel here in the city and then took the train to NYU's campus to give a talk on the special challenges of LGBT weddings. As some of you might know, I've been a wedding planner and officiant since 2011. It's really a great time and something I would never have thought that I'd be doing! 

On Monday, February 26th, I'll be stopping by the Slipper Room at 167 Orchard here in NYC to see former Bingo guest, Todd Alsup, an award winning soul singer/songwriter giving us good song with backup. He's got three albums out, the latest one, Currency, is out now. Doors open at 6pm and the show is at 7pm. Click here to get tickets although at this late moment, you might have to pay at the door! Maybe I'll see you there! 

My favorite TA song is "Let's Have a Party" which came out roughly around the time that "Let's Have a Kiki" came out - and while Kiki has a catchy tune and all, it was THE ONLY THING YOU HEARD AT EVERY BAR ALL THE TIME and, so, I instantly hated it. I was thrilled when I discovered Todd's version of a similar theme which is, in my opinion, ten times better anyway. So I'm posting the You Tube of that down below even though there's not an official video for it. If you want to catch one of his more recent hits, follow this link to Todd's Facebook group page. 

 

You can follow me on the Facebook and the LinkedIn at: (what else) Will Clark.

No Instagram account because, you know, daddy's gotta work and eat and sleep and doesn't have time for that (plus, what a pain in the ass it is to try to get photos on to my phone and then on to Instagram). 

 

Happy VD 2018 - A Post About Love In the Middle Ages

Good morning, peeps and happy almost Valentine's Day. Or Happy VD, as I say.  This blog post is for those of you who are single and feeling like there's simply no one for you. I felt that way too. 

I am nearly 54 years old and I have been out and dating since 1986. In that time, I've had what I would consider to be four great relationships. Yes, I've dated and "dated" a lot more than 4 men, but these four men were the ones that I loved back and thought were 'it'. 

The first one I met in autumn 1986 when I just discovered that I was gay. I was studying in London at the time and we met at the London Lesbian and Gay Center. He was amazing and we spent two months together. It was kind of a little storybook romance and included one of the best moments of my life - riding on the back of his motorcycle, my arms around his waist, both of us in leather jackets, riding around the West End in the early evening. 

When we broke up, I was devastated - I'll tell the story another day, but it took me an unfortunately long time to get over him. It wasn't until many years later that I discovered that he and I shared a connection that he didn't share with the man who he dated after me and who he'd be with for 25 years. That was kind of all I needed to allow me to finally let go. 

The second guy, I met at a bar in LA in 1997 while I was hosting a beer bust for Aid for AIDS. We had a great two and a half years together. He was a very solid/normal guy and I was having the time of my life producing fundraising events, writing columns for mags, touring around the country, and emceeing a weekly show in WeHo.  I'm extremely glad that I had him in my life to provide some sort of foundation. I am the better for having been with him, no doubt. 

The third guy, I met at a funeral in 2007 and we had three firsts - the day we met at the funeral, the sex date we had a few days later, and the real date that we had a few days after that. We were together for four years but eventually we realized that we were more brothers than lovers. And, since my actual brother is kind of a dbag, having a real brother has been better than having a boyfriend. Those of you who are in a similar situation might understand why this is so important. We have been best friends now for eleven years.

In summer 2014, I met a guy in Chicago after judging at IML that I thought would be 'it'... and when it wasn't, I fell into a very deep depression. It didn't help that the day job was pretty stressful, I had stopped going to the gym, I had just ended bingo (the first time, not the second time), and I was feeling pretty awful about myself and my life. But then, after having what I thought was a heart attack at Christmastime, I decided that I'd had enough wallowing and that it was time to get back in shape in every sense.

So for all of 2015, I spent time at the gym, and towards the end of the year, once I got some of my mojo back, I started dating again. At one point, I sorta kinda was dating five different guys. 

Bingo had just ended for the second time, my corporate job had been eliminated after a merger, and I was at a literal turning point in my life.

I realized that I had spent decades going through the same cycle again and again - I would meet a guy (online, at a party, out and about in life, etc) and would think "maybe this is the one". Every. Damn. Time. I had fun but there was always (ALWAYS) the veneer of "he's it!" on top of whatever it was. 

But rather than be sad about that, I decided to find strength. The five guys turned into seven guys for a very brief moment in time and I thought that I was just going to enjoy the ride for once rather than having to make any of it something it wasn't. I think I decided to... have fun. 

And, as part of that, I installed the Scruff app onto my phone and started checking guys out. I don't have any problem with online hookups, but I have found through experiences on various other sites that it's a tedious and ultimately unsatisfying way to meet anyone. Everyone's always looking for someone better and I find that exhausting. But, I had a new "couldn't give a fuck" attitude and went from there. 

I went to Palm Springs at Christmas 2015 with this attitude but I didn't have a great time (sorry SoCal!) so I came back early, had a GREAT New Years. And although I'd hooked up in the wee hours of the new year, by Jan 3rd, I was rarin and ready for more. Someone pinged me on Scruff, I was mildly interested. A friend stopped by to hang out and a few hours went by. i finally got back to the pinger and he was at my doorstep in less than 20 minutes. 

And when he walked through my door, I had this "oh, there you are, I've been waiting for you". And he's not left since. 

 

Every day I learn new things about him and our history has interesting overlaps and we have a common background. 

I post this not to brag - but to illustrate that I was sure I would never ever be with anyone again. I was in agony, I was so lonely. i would be jealous of people I knew who were in relationship with multiples as I was like "hey.. share! you don't get seconds til everyone gets firsts!" lol 

So, tomorrow is Valentine's Day. 

So, you're single and middle age. Big whoop. I'm nearly 54 and it took until I was nearly 52 to find this very special guy.

So, have a single friends night. Or if there's someone you like, ask them out even if you're never the one who asks someone out... in fact, esp if youre not someone who usually asks someone out, do it. The worst that they can say is 'no'. OR spend the evening concentrating on some self care/love. Or call a friend who is also single and do something fun with them. 

But it's not over for you if you're reading this. 

Recently, boyfriend number 3 broke up with his boyfriend of a couple years .... he lamented, "I'm 50 and out of shape, who will want me!!" and my answer is - you'll never know until you put yourself out there... because unless you're looking to date the Dominoes pizza guy, it's unlikely that they'll come to you. 

Unless you're on Scruff... then apparently they will deliver themselves!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!