JACK WRANGLER AND NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY

As a Northwestern graduate school alum, there's always been 'that little voice' inside of me that's been a little unsure how to balance my adult career and the university where I earned an MA.

In interviews people often ask about my Masters degree and it's sort of fascinating to them that I have a graduate degree in theatre but have been producing fundraising events and doing all the funky stuff I've done the past 15 years.

I say it's ALL theatre but I realize that people want to pigeon-hole people especially those of us who have been involved in 'that biz' .. oh there are a lot of reasons to distance one self from all of that, the least of which is the actual content of the movies - I'm proud of my sexuality and while, yes, it's been difficult to reconcile one half of my life with the other (never fully either but sort of half of both and yet both halves are really more than equal to the worth of the work that others do) it's been a fun, ineresting, exciting challenge nonetheless.

But more and more recently I've been seeing Will Clark as a role that I've enjoyed playing for the past 15 years .. and when it came time of how to be listed in the program for WHEN JOEY MARRIED BOBBY, the director and I sat and had a long talk about. His wise words were "(being Will Clark) will open more doors than it will close". And so I hope for the best as I embark on a new direction and hope to build on what I've done because as they say on LOST, 'what's done is done' and all of 'that' is done.

Except when it isn't.

Because, not surprisingly, people will and do judge one for what they have done in the past if it doesn't conform to how they think the world oughta be. In my bleeding heart liberal, everyone hold hands in a drum circle mindset, I don't think that it is how it oughta be - but you know, until I'm presented with another planet to live on, this is the one I have to live on and it's by these rules that I have to live.

Until I don't.

Because they change.

Case in point: Jack Wrangler.

Unlike many fans of the adult biz, I was not a fan of Jack's adult video work. He was a little before my time and even so, I was never much into all of that before I became a part of it. (Even then, it's kinda boring to me and much of it is shoddily produced, but that's an aesthetic issue and cause for another conversation)

But it was Jack's image and the way it impacted gay men - a super butch masculine man who did the gay sex - that intrigued me once I learned of his existence.

I've never quite figured out if Jack was gay or not but it doesn't really matter as he provided a new paradigm for the gay male.. and in an era (the 70s) when being gay was equated with being feminine, a macho man archetype was just what the gay public needed.

I have no statistical knowledge of Jack's impact, but I suspect that much of the 90s muscle sensibility and todays beard culture can directly be linked back to Jack (and guys like Al Parker of course).

So after being laid off from a day job that I was overqualified for in the first place I was wondering where I would go next. (and not for nothing, I spent two and a half years worrying myself into the depths of depression at times that 'someone would find out' about my work and it would be a big icky disaster. I'd heard of other stars who had employers who found out about their video work and it never really ends well. But as about 150 people were all let go in the months ahead of me, I couldn't very well take it personally and they definitely did me a favor)

But, after the first few months of elation I started to feel sort of low. I love my work at Bingo but it's hardly a full time job. What was next for me, I worried...

That is until I read the obits from the Northwestern Alumni newsletter last November.

Lo and behold the printed an obit for John Stillman aka Jack Wrangler. I was blown away. They didn't shy away from mentioning his flicks, in fact they highlighted them saying "his onscreen macho man person paved the way for new concepts of homosexuality" and that he'd 'starred in more than 30 gay sex films in the 1970s and '80s".... and suddenly, I don't know, how to describe it, but my life didn't feel so closeted anymore. 

There was something in seeing this obit, a confirmation that the world I've left wasn't as shunned and 'dirty' as people tried to tell me it was (or maybe as it used to be). I think the problem I've had is that I haven't been forthcoming enough with my resume .. I mean, I guess I don't know that an employer needs to know I made INVADERS FROM URANUS (my favorite title because I love puns) but maybe not hiding quite so much on my resume would take the doubt out of my work - because people can tell when you lie even if it's not on a conscious level.

So I'm going to keep that alumni newsletter clipping as a reminder that the world is changing and the world I've been told that it is, it may not be and the place I will find the most unlikely acceptance may be just around the corner.

 

Comments

[Giorgio]

That's nicely said and great to hear. Who knows Will, you may find some fans that'll love to hire you...hehe. But in all seriousness, you're a good guy and trying to be anything but yourself just diminishes that.

[grandiva1968.livejournal.com]

Side note:

I think that Jack Wrangler is only as straight as Margaret Whiting says he is. From what I've read of his autobiography, he told her upfront he was gay. Still, he was very devoted to her. He went through his post porn theatrical career as Jack Wrangler, too, so it's not like he ran away from that part of himself in any sense.

[Donald]

The process of coming out is hard enough in most cases and you took on the additional responsibility of working in "that biz."
No one can define you, but you. All of us have moments of self realization that actions and events from our past are seen either as a mistake or a gift that has made us who we are. The choice is sometimes hard and drawn out, but I, personally, prefer a gift.

Congratulations on reaching one of those moments of clarity. May it serve you well in the future!

Bravo!

[Will Clark]

Thanks Guys... I appreciate the comments. :) To be continued...