If you've been following the daytime drama ONE LIFE TO LIVE, you know all too well the current storyline where teenager Jack has been bullying fellow teenager Shane because Shane has asthma and is poorer than Jack's family are millionaires. After a particularly nasty incident where Jack and his buddies stole Shane's clothes from the locker room and then took video of him naked and posted it on the internet (yikes!), Shane decided to end his life by jumping off from the roof of the school.
The impulse is understandable - when all looks lost and you think that it will never get better, killing yourself is the only alternative that seems reasonable. And yet, while it will make an impact on those around you, you'll be dead. I know because I've been there.
Well, I never climbed to the roof of my school and prepared to jump - it was only one story high and the worst that would have happened was that I probably would have broken my leg - but there were times in junior high and high school when the bullying was so intense and unyielding that I thought I would never get through it. And yet I did.
It got better.
And I left my hometown and I went to college, lived in London, came out, lived in San Francisco, went to grad school, moved to New York and since the mid 90s have been traveling around producing and emceeing a wide variety of events which have raised over a million dollars for LGBT organizations. I've also had a lot of fun that I would have missed out on had the thought crossed my mind that things couldn't get better. I also wouldn't have had the pleasure of the many men that I have been in love with over the years and certainly wouldn't have the joy of spending the past four years with the BF, which has been truly one of the highlights of my life (I can hear him now: "One" of the highlights? Harumph! LOL) :)
Look, my family hates that I'm gay and hates it even more that I left Wisconsin for the big city. They hate that I'm artistic, imaginative and creative and have been basically punishing me for these 'ills' for pretty much my entire life. But rather than kill myself, I simply physically moved away from their toxicity. And eventually when I couldn't bear to take their abuse any more, I made the extremely difficult decision to emotionally move away from them. It's never been easy to do this but I think in the long run it's been the right choice. And of course when I was invited to my class's 26th (they forgot about the 25th, which pretty much tells you everything you need to know about them) reunion a couple years ago (oh yeah, that's right now you know for sure how old I am), I simply said "Oh darn, I am busy that weekend". Because really the worst part about all of that is the bullies don't even realize the kind of long term/life long impact they've made.
A fabulous therapist once said to me that most people mistake killing themselves for wanting to kill their lives. So I challenge you - if your life isn't working for you, fix it, don't end it.
There are tons of reasons to stay alive. For me it's cuddling in bed in the early morning hours with the bf, great theatre, enjoying gay porn, drinking a Blue Moon at the Black Eagle in Montreal, going to a strip club with Chris and Paul, knowing that a show I'm producing is going really really well (this is one of the biggest natural highs for me) and friends.. friends from San Fran and Los Angeles, friends from New York and Chicago, new friends in Ft Lauderdale and old friends who visit from London. I could literally list a hundred things but I think you get the point.
My life has not always been 'mostly fabulous'.. I have gone through a lot of shit to get to the good stuff (and like life, I'll go through shit again in the future because that's just how life is), but you have to be here to get to the good stuff.
So if you are considering pulling the plug or if you suspect someone you know is, there is help and it starts with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Scroll down and check them out. And if you're able to help support them and their efforts to keep others from throwing away their lives, then that would be pretty awesome as well.
If you're in NYC I'll see you tonight at the show.. Gusty and I will be drinking and calling numbers because having fun with all of you is definitely a reason to keep on keeping on.
- Will Clark 4/13/11
The Will Clark Show featuring P*rno Bingo at Pieces (8 Christopher Street near 6th Ave between Greenwich and Gay Streets) Hosted by Will Clark; Photographer: AB; With DJ Chris Padilla
Sponsored by NEXT Magazine Steel Gym ID Lube Daddy Hunt plus videos by Channel 1 Releasing
Tonight we are going to be visited by the reigning queen of drag, GUSTY WINDS!
Come by and help us raise much needed cash for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. We’ll have Channel 1 Releasing videos as prizes and a special signed DVD of Joan Rivers’ “Piece of Work” on auction.
Booze, boys, Bingo and more in a night to celebrate living a life worth living!
About the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, a 501(c)(3) organization, has been at the forefront of a wide range of suicide prevention initiatives in 2010 -- each designed to reduce loss of life from suicide. We are investing in groundbreaking research, new educational campaigns, innovative demonstration projects and critical policy work. And we are expanding our assistance to people whose lives have been affected by suicide, reaching out to offer support and offering opportunities to become involved in prevention.
We are increasing the number of community-based chapters, now at 39, with two-dozen more in development. And we have a growing list of friends and supporters leading a grassroots constituency that can advocate for the policies and legislation at the state and federal levels to advance suicide prevention.
With a suicide attempt estimated to occur every minute of every day in the United States and over 34,000 lives lost each year, the importance of AFSP's mission has never been greater, nor our work more urgent.
About The Will Clark Show
Will Clark produces and hosts a weekly fundraising event benefiting New York based non profits with four rounds of Bingo, celebrity guest callers and fabulous prizes! Part game show, part talk show and all fundraiser!
Now in it¹s seventh year, The Will Clark Show featuring P*rno Bingo has raised over $150,000 for New York LGBT charities.
The Will Clark Show is held at Pieces which can be reached via the 1 train (Christopher Street) and the ABCDEF lines (West 4th).
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