From Feb 2004 - December 2004, I produced and emceed my first talk show in NYC - People Will Talk. It was never terribly successful from a financial point of view, the crowds were usually small and eventually the bar decided (rightly) that it didn't make sense to continue. I was bummed but didn't fight it. We had fans and those that came were appreciative of the effort I put into it.
But a lot came out of those 11 months. My first guest, a playwright named AB, saw how much I was struggling to emcee the show AND take pictures. He offered to help out that night in exchange for drinks and then offered to come back the next week. I figured that it would run it's course in a few weeks and was grateful for the temporary help as I struggled to establish myself in New York.
But AB stayed and has been shooting with me and my events for ten years. That's pretty awesome.
Also from those shows, I met more or less most of the beneficiaries and guests who have been the foundation of P*rno Bingo these last nine years. I wanted to have three guests every night and one of those guests be someone from a charity, to talk about what they do.
I don't remember how I met singer/composer Kris Landherr, but he was the creator of monthly LGBT music nights called "Fagapalooza" and for a long time, he sent all sorts of amazing LGBT artists my way. Most were amazing, and a few became friends. Like Yolanda who is one of my very best buddies and will be joining me for tonight's Final Bingo.
In November 2004 I had a "Fagapalooza" night and one of the bands had three members - one of whom was a balding bearded redhead named Tom Rolanti with coke bottle thick glasses. He had a wicked sense of humor and a heart. We connected immediately.
He looked around and, like AB before him, saw that I needed help and, as a graphic designer, offered to donate his time to create future posters for the show. We began to talk in earnest how we could redesign the look of the advertising.... but soon after, the axe came down and I was show-less.
Enter P*rno Bingo. It was a few days after the final show when the 9th Ave. Bistro came calling to find out if I'd do a show for them. I had admired what Belle Aire did in LA with her fundraising bingo nights and I surmised that part of the failure of "People Will Talk" was my insistence that I feature very few porn stars. I had come up with the name "P*rno Bingo" some months before and so here was an opportunity to use it.
For the first year or so, Tom designed the posters and we became very close friends. He designed the final Bad Boys Pool Party poster and helped me through a time of intense transition as I focused my time and energy more on New York and less on Los Angeles and San Francisco.
In 2006 Tom got really sick and retreated from his friends, including me. In early 2007 he went into the hospital and though he was dying, still gave me quite brillant advice. And, on February 25th, 2007, Tom Rolanti passed away. By then, Bingo was zinging along it's merry way but it's Tom's devotion to the first year of promotion that built such a solid foundation upon which the rest of the run has been built. I didn't find out about his passing until the next day, February 26th so it's yet another reason why tonight's show date is so meaningful.
In May 2007 friends held his memorial service here in New York - and you know, I almost didn't go. I almost couldn't go. I was in a show but the Sunday matinee got moved at the last minute to Thursday night. So I went. I remember that it was a beautiful day. A gorgeous, spring, May day, the kind that you can kind of taste in your mouth, the kind you want to wrap your arms around and embrace, to hold on to it and breathe in. This was Tom's day.
All his friends from different areas of his life gathered - his bandmates, his family and so on. Tom knew many people but none of us really knew each other. So we all collided in one place at one time. I got to speak about how Tom had helped so many charities through his work with Bingo.
Afterward, grief-stricken, I barely could respond when a friend of Tom's started flirting with me. In fact, this friend would later take me to task for being offputting that day. But this man didn't simply become a friend, he's become family and seven years later we are like brothers. The kind of brother that I always wanted to have. We've been lovers, boyfriends, best friends, but brothers seems to encapsulate it more than anything else. And Tom brought us together.
So, Tom Rolanti changed my life and I dedicate tonight's 457th and Final Bingo to him and his memory.
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